What Lurks Beneath the Outer Coat

When I got home from work today I decided it was time to brush Makwa, the Newfoundland. It is just one of the joys of owning a furry, fluffy, really big dog. At least once a week a Newf needs major grooming/ brushing in order to keep the hair from matting.

It takes some preparation to brush Makwa. I first need to locate the 3 brushes she needs to get the undercoat and then the top. And then there is the Walmart bags to put the fur in. Her fur can easily fill 2 Walmart plastic bags. So this evening, as long as I was going to be home alone, I decided was the perfect night to get Makwa brushed.

As I began to brush Makwa she stood towering above me as I sat on the floor. I thought to myself that it was going to be easy and not take too long to brush her since I just did it a few days ago. I was wrong in that assumption. I started with the "rake" tool and began to get all of the loose undercoat off of her. As I brushed her, sand and grit from lying in the driveway fell to the family room floor,making a huge mess (still Winter here in Minnesota we had rain with snow today, too cold for outdoors). Next came the bristle brush to smooth down the fluffiness. Along with that, came another bag of hair to go with my growing pile of sand and grit.

As I was finishing up, I finally realized how stinky she had become from lying outside in the mud and hanging around the barn when I did the chores earlier today. Evidently she had done one of her famous "run, slide and roll" maneuvers ...right into some droppings the chickens had left behind. It was apparent that no matter how much I brushed her outer coat, the stench would linger beneath and she would never be quite clean enough.

So much to Makwa's delight, she was asked to jump into the bathtub, her second most favorite thing (lifting the garbage lid and stealing food is her very favorite). In she went. A bottle of shampoo and a giant ring around the tub later, she was groomed, furry and smelled like perfumed pesticide flea and tick shampoo. A much better, new look for Makwa. Amazing how her energy level changed once she was clean. She trotted all over the house leaving a trail of paw prints and puddles. Sand, grit and chicken droppings were out from beneath her coat and all that remained was a shiny, sweet-smelling Newf dancing around leaving a wet floor where ever she went.

Today when I am hanging around in the mud and doing the "run, slide and roll" maneuver into life's droppings; when I feel the dirt, sand and grit deep beneath the undercoat of who I am, remind me that my Master is always waiting nearby to call me into the fresh clean water, to wash away all that leaves me matted up and stinky.

Everybody was Kung-Fu Fighting

Today instead of the usual routine of getting up and going to my normal job, I had to attend a mandatory class on personal safety. Because of the job I do, I sometimes go to a person's home to provide patient care. In the past 12 years, I have not run into anything that was too scary...unless you would consider attack turkeys chasing you to your car dangerous. Luckily for me, the turkeys lost interest when they found cracker crumbs on the ground.

I woke up this morning already grumbling to myself that this meeting was not what I wanted to be doing for the next 3 hours. I had the preconceived notion that for 3 hours I would be sitting and listening to some corporate person drone on about how to stay safe out in the homecare environment. A place where few corporate people have dared to travel.

When I got there, I found a back seat, in hopes I could put my iPod in book mode and catch up on some reading while pretending to engage in the class. Sitting in the back of the class, I had hopes that I would be left alone and wouldn't have anyone sitting next to me so I could read. But the class did fill up and there was only one seat left...next to me. In walked the man that would be my partner in personal safety for the morning. He was over a foot taller than me, and had the forearms of the old cartoon character, Pop-Eye the Sailor Man. We greeted each other just as class began and the instructor told everyone to put cell phones and pagers on silent and ,yes, ditch the iPods.

The instructors were two nurses who had put together more of a sit-com than a training. Laverne and Shirley had nothing on them.They tag-teamed the instruction and made the time go a little quicker than the usual 3 hour meeting. And by mid-morning, it was time to put into action personal safety. It was a demonstration of how to get out of unsafe situations that may arise in the healthcare profession. They were the usual situations a nurse can face, like a choke hold, having your hair grabbed from the front and then the back, and the infamous two-hand grab. A piece of cake....except for the fact that I had the young 7 foot high Pop-Eye coming at 5 foot middle-aged me. I managed to get out of all the holds he threw at me. Having grown up with two older brothers and raising four kids into adulthood, I had many "moves" to draw from in keeping Pop-Eye at bay. All in all, the morning turned out to be.....well... fun.... compared to my preconceived thoughts upon rising this morning.

Each morning upon rising, let me put aside my thoughts on how I am expecting the day to go. Let me look past how much I need to get done, or how I can avoid what the day is bringing to me. Let me learn to be grateful that I have awakened to greet another day. Allow me to wake up and look to my Creator to put me in the right frame of mind before my feet even hit the floor. Let me awaken and look for those Kung-Fu moments that will bring a smile to my face.

High Noon

Today I was summoned by the two 5 year old grand-kids that, "Mama needs you to come help her". I started to go down to the lower level apartment where the kids are currently living, but was redirected by the 5 year old's that I was to go outside to the backyard.

Upon arriving in the backyard, I found my daughter and 7 year old grandson in a battle of wills. He had hit his sister a few times too many to be an accident and mama had had enough. It resembled an Old West movie where it is high noon and the two gunfighters are squared off waiting for someone to draw their gun first as the townsfolk watch from a distance. In this case, it was me and the other grand-kids that were the townsfolk. I escorted them into the house so as not to be in harm's way when the shooting began.

The 2 desperadoes then began their showdown. Mama standing her ground and 7 year old grandson looking defiantly with the "if looks could kill" stare down. Several minutes passed with grandson pushing away as mama tried to gather him and quiet him in her arms. It looked like it was going to be an impasse. But then after a few more attempts to get grandson to apologize for smacking his sister (and by this time also his mama), he did just that. But not quite so much with a repentant heart, so the plot thickened and it continued to be a standoff for a few more minutes until the words were spoken with a sorry and apologetic heart. All was forgiven and life moved on to a walk in the  field with grandson and mama walking side by side talking quietly to each other.

Today when I feel like throwing punches in the air because things are not going my way and it is High Noon in my life, help me remember that I have a loving Creator with open arms waiting for me to just approach with an open and repentant heart. 

Ice Out

It has been a long winter. The snow started in October and has continued now into mid-April. We have had a few warm days that have managed to thaw the lakes. And joy of joys, it is ice out here in East Central Minnesota! It is a day that many look forward to and some even place bets on what date it will happen.

During the winter I watched as the lakes became thick with ice. That thickness turned the lakes into roadways for ATV's, snowmobiles and trucks to negotiate a path to an ice house or a favorite fishing spot. Over time the lakes became dotted with ice houses, vehicles and left over trash from some of the more irresponsible ones that would come out to fish or party in their ice house and leave behind their garbage.

While all of this activity prevails above the lake, beneath it, is business as usual. The only way that anyone would know there is life beneath the thick ice would be to drill a hole through the few feet of ice to have a peak beneath where you are standing. To do this with an auger that is not powered is a very slow process. But once a hole is made, it is incredible to see the life that is beneath the cold frozen barrier of the ice.

Today I drove by one of the many lakes in the area that is now open water. I could see the white caps as the winds ripped across from one end of shoreline to another. And I began to see the many items that have washed up on shore from the winter. In time, volunteers and the DNR will gather all of the garbage and haul it away.

Once the ice is completely out and the sunshine warms the water, I will launch my kayak and take to paddling. On a calm day, what a vantage point I will have sitting so close to the water in the kayak. I will be privy to look deep within the pristine water and see the new signs of Spring; tadpoles, sunfish and maybe even a walleye.

Today I ask my Creator to give my heart and life ice out. Let the melting take place. Let the wind wash all the junk to shore and be hauled away. Let the calm stillness, sunshine and warmth give me that vantage point to see through the thick ice build-up to the new life within. Give me the pristine calmness to paddle on.

Big Dog

Makwa is my 5 year old Newfoundland. I have had her since she was a pup of 25 pounds. Today she weighs about 110 pounds and when standing on her hind legs will drape her paws over my shoulders and look down at me. She resembles a bear from a distance and has been mistaken for one on occasion. I am always grateful that my bear is a gentle giant. 

Every morning when I wake up, I go to the garage door to "release the beasts" to the outdoors after a long night. Dogs generally are creatures of habit and will continue to perform a routine even if the consequences are less than desirable. For Makwa, this happens to be every morning when I go to let her outside.

Makwa is what I consider a well behaved large dog. She doesn't jump on people, she doesn't pull on her leash when out for a walk, she gets out of people's way when they are walking. And she never will snatch a treat from your hand no matter how sure she is that Charlie is going to get it first. But Makwa has one bad habit. She loves to lift the lid of the garbage can to see if there is some tidbit or morsel she can grab for take out on her way to the yard. Without fail she will do this every morning. And every morning I will, as always, scold her for doing it. She will tuck her tail between her legs, grab the closest hunk of tossed leftover and head outside. Just once I would love to see her go straight to the door and go outside. But I am thinking even for Makwa the instant pleasure of a possible morsel of human food outweighs the scolding and knowing she is doing wrong.

How often do I do just what Makwa does? Continue to do the same thing over and over, knowing it is not the best thing to do and yet hoping I will somehow get the little morsel of pleasure and gratification. How often do I "sneak into the trash"? Today let my actions reflect what is good and right in the eyes of my Creator. Let me choose to go to the door and not sidetrack to the trash.

My Mother's Daughter

Today is my mom's birthday. Had she lived, she would be 91 years old today. But as fate would have it, my mom died 29 years ago when she was 60 years old. At the time, I was 23 and going to be a new mom in a few months.

The night before my mom died, she put her hand on my stomach as my baby kicked and squirmed and she said, "It's a girl". That night after I left the hospital, my mom passed away. A few months later, I gave birth to a beautiful daughter. And as the years went by, I had 3 more incredible and beautiful children, 2 sons and another daughter.

Although my mom was never around to watch the kids grow up and accomplish the milestones, or have direct input into their lives, I have to believe she has had a steady influence in their lives. It is because I am my mother's daughter. There are many things I do that are a direct result of being raised by a woman who loved me unconditionally whether I was a good and obedient child or a rebellious teenager. Through all of my growing pains, my mom was there, to love me, discipline me, and watch me take those "first steps" in life's journey. And although she was not physically present during my transformation into adulthood and parenthood, she is a direct result of the woman I have become. And she has left an impact on how I have loved and raised my own children. And it is now being passed on to the next generation

Today, as I remember my mom's life, let me look to my Creator as The One that continues to love me as a mom or dad loves their child. Allow me to remember that I am loved unconditionally whether I am being the good and obedient child or I am being the rebellious teenager.

Young Pup

Along with Tanner, my old Hospice dog, I have a young dog, Charlie. He is an Australian Shepherd/Blue Heeler mix. He just turned one last month. He has been described as “wicked smart” as he seems to be able to sense what I am asking of him, long before I even know myself what it is I want. He stays close to me and constantly checks in with me to see if I could use his help with herding grandchildren, or letting me know when company is coming.

In the evening, after the grand-kids have been around, Charlie will go through the house and gather (or in his world-herd) all the toys that were left around after they picked up. One by one he will diligently bring them to me until all toys are gathered. Then he will sit in front of me looking for more “work”. Charlie has a servant’s heart and would do just about anything to help his “Master”. He would go the distance just to please me. Charlie asks for nothing in return….. 

How often do I work with a servant’s heart to do something for another just for the sake of helping? Or do I do it hoping someone sees it so they can say “good job” or notice me in some other way? Today let me be like my dog, Charlie, and do something for someone without looking for praise from others. Let me look into my Master’s eyes and see what work needs to be done.

Old Dog

I have an old yellow Lab that has been in my life since he was 7 weeks old. He is now 12 years old and in the sunset of his life. Each day I am amazed when I see Tanner lift his head, thump his tail, and struggle to stand up to go outside. Every morning, I find myself preparing for him to be unable to rise, or worse yet, dead, when I come down the hallway to get him.

Tanner is going deaf (now for real, not just selectively), has a body full of tumors bulging out all over him and his legs are arthritic and wobbly. Nonetheless, the old dog manages to greet each morning with all the zest and zeal he can muster up in his condition. He is always a happy dog.

Tanner, like all dogs, lives in the moment, neither looking back to his younger days running in the fields nor looking out into the future of his final days. He greets each and every day ready to live in the moment. His thumping, wagging tail shows his enthusiasm as he greets each day.

Tanner's days are now numbered and I struggle when I look into his big brown eyes and imagine life without him tagging alongside me. May I learn to view my days in the moment, neither looking behind or too far ahead. May I learn from Tanner to enjoy each and every moment that I encounter.

Somewhere in the Middle......

There is a song by the group, Casting Crowns, called Somewhere in the Middle. When I listen to the lyrics, I find my self drawn to the verse that says:

Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

So goes the journey of this middle-aged woman that is somewhere between hot flashes and cold shivers, somewhere between having raised her children and not totally wanting to let go. Of looking back on all that has been and looking ahead to all that is yet to come. Somewhere in the middle, you'll find me in the midst of this thing called life. I wake up grateful each day knowing I do not have to go it alone.