Time Marches On

Rainey with her brown/hazel/blue eyes in a quiet moment of adolescensce

As I sit down to finally write a blog post, I am realizing it is already pushing into the Fall season, with Winter right around the corner here in Minnesota. In my last posting, I was mourning the loss of a good friend and loyal companion, my yellow lab, Tanner. Although still missed, I am grateful that he is no longer suffering here on earth. Over the past few months I have been kept busy with the daily antics and task of raising Rainey, our 5 month old Aussie. While she is a great dog, puppy hood to adolescence is always the time when many dogs wind up in shelters as the humans just can't get past this crazy teen-age stage. There are days I, myself, have to ask the question :"What have I gotten myself into with her?". But these are passing thoughts and Rainey is right where she should be in her developement.

Lessons Rainey has learned over the past 4 months:

1. Using the outdoors as your bathroom is a kind and generous thing to do for your Master- remember the garage is still considered part of the house
2. Waiting to go outside until a human is awake is even better
3. When an older dog or human approaches your food dish, step aside
4. Guarding or growling your food dish will get you in a lot of trouble
5. Fresh chicken dinner does not mean help yourself to the hens down at the hen house
6. Electric fences around the hen house give off a shock to make you never try for another chicken dinner
7. Come, Sit Stay Heel are not optional suggestions
8. No matter what path you take to your Master, always come when called. There will always be a treat or a "good girl" and scruff waiting
9. Run alongside the biker, not in front. Someone will always get hurt
10. Your human loves you in spite of your adolescence

Still Learning:

1. Jumping on toddlers/ preschoolers will get you sent to your kennel
2. Herding grandchildren, although helpful, causes fear in the "herdees"
3. Come: means come to me now
4. Sit still when you are getting petted
5. Use your nose for good, like finding my lost shoe you took to chew
6. Not a good idea to pace around at night when humans want to watch TV
7. No chewing on kid toys found in the yard
8. No chewing on things in the garage
9. No chewing on things you found in the garbage can
10. NO chewing on the above means no chewing....even tomorrow and the next day and next...forever

While Rainey is still learning, and I am daily looking for patience, she actually is a great puppy. In her learning she has taught me valuable lessons.

1. Be kind and courteous to  my elders and those in authority
2. When hungry, I can be quite testy and may want to growl and guard my food
3. Certain boundaries are an OK thing if it keeps me out of trouble with my Master
4. Run alongside my Master, it is the easiest and safest place to be
5. There are certain rules in life that are not optional (treat others as you would want them to treat you)
6. Settle down and enjoy the moment, quit worrying and pacing
7. Bad habits are hard to break.
8. Each day is a new beginning to try to do all things well
9. Sit still in the Master's presence
10. No matter what path I take, my Master will always welcome me with open arms and a "good girl", even if it takes me a few tries in getting there. 

Saying Good-bye to an Old Friend

Today is a day that will live in my memory forever. It is the day that I have to say good-bye to my old faithful companion, Tanner. It is a decision that I have struggled with for several months, as his health has deteriorated. But today, as he struggles to get up, the decision has been made, the arrangements are in place and time is ticking away as his last hours of life come to a close. It is a time of looking back at the day we met  (him with a big red bow around his neck... a Christmas present 13 years ago) and honoring the life of my old yellow Lab.

Tanner has served our family well for many years. Living on the farm, he has had free run of many acres..and yet never has left the property. He has had ample opportunity to have many a chicken dinner, and yet has never once gone after the chickens when they have been out of the pen....a bird dog that truly looks at birds as his little buddies. When new little grandchildren arrived he always has been there to welcome them into the family with a happy wagging tail, never once turning on those that would sit close by playing in his food as he ate.


Tanner has helped me raise 4 children, 12 grandchildren and at least 5 other dogs that we have had over the years. He has always been there to let the new puppy jump and climb on him...stretching his patience and yet only a low rumble would come from him, telling the pup "enough". His gentle, mellow personality has always rubbed off on the energy of the pack that calls this place home. And as a result, the dogs that live here are in turn mellow and easy going, and gentle with all who they come in contact with.

The vet has been called, his grave has been dug by the pine trees where he goes to wander. His master is tearfully and yet happily rejoicing that he will no longer be suffering with his aged body. May his spirit soar to the heavens and may he eternally chase amd romp in the green fields. Until we meet again, Old Boy.

Today as I walk my old friend to his grave, may my Master be walking alongside me giving me the strength to grieve and rejoice in the life of an old friend.

Walking with the Pack

Makwa, Charlie and Rainey

Grandpa Tanner and Belle

Each morning upon rising I have a routine that involves leashing up 4 of the 5 dogs and taking a brisk walk down the road about a mile and back. On a work day it is timed so that I can manage the walk, feed Rainey, the new puppy, and get ready for work. It is always a challenge to try to do this and get out the door for work on time. But I enjoy the time I spend with the whole pack, as they are so focused and intent on following me. It sometimes makes me feel powerful and humble all at the same time thinking that these 5 canines would trust me completely to lead them safely on a journey where danger sometimes lurks in the form of traffic and/or not so nice unbalanced dogs.

Our walk starts with leashing up Makwa and Charlie who will crawl up on the top step in the garage and sit to get the leash on. It is always hard for them to contain their excitement and often times they get a little tangled up in their leash. But most of the time, they leash up and step out of the way for the next dog's turn. Belle will crawl all around underneath the other dogs until she gets to me and stands to get her leash on. She reminds me of a P.O.W. tunneling out to freedom. But she manages to get the job of leashing up done and will go by the other dogs and wait as patiently as is possible for a dog ready to explore.Leashing our newest addition, Rainey, is getting easier, but let's just say it is still somewhat complicated. She is not sure what is happening, but she is certain that she should be excited since the older dogs are wagging and wriggling around. And last but not least, Tanner, the old yellow Lab who usually will just wait patiently until we are ready. Tanner has earned the honor of "no leash" since he is so slow moving he only walks half the distance and will wait for us to return and walk back home with us.

Let the walk begin...5 dogs, 3 different paces. The first few minutes involve everyone for them selves and there are leashes all over getting wrapped around all of us. Charlie, Makwa and Belle have mastered the walk quite well and will look to me to set the pace and then focus on my movements, never veering far from watching my leg movement and adjusting themselves accordingly. For the most part they will look to me and follow consistently wherever I walk. They will sniff and look down the road at things passing by, but they are always watchful of where their leader is taking them. But Rainey is still in training....bouncing and ducking under each dog and pretty much making a complete mess of the organized walk we are trying to achieve. She will not only tangle up, but will stop cold in her tracks while we keep moving forward, causing me to stop fast as the other dogs bound forward a few more steps. I'm never sure if walking the group is going to end in a dislocation of some sort someday on some body part.

After about 5 minutes of showing Rainey what is expected as we walk together, she finally figures out that it is in her best interest to follow her leader and not look to the other dogs to try and figure out where to walk. The rest of the walk is for the most part uneventful. All of us "get in the zone" and we manage to get home in time for me to ready myself for work.


How I want my life to be a focused walk with my Leader. Help me to not stray far from the path I am being asked to travel down with my Master. Help me to not get tangled up and trampled on as a result of taking my eyes of the Leader and focusing on others nearby during my daily walk.

What's Her Name?

Meet the newest addition to our canine pack. She is a blue-eyed 8 week old Australian Shepherd. She comes from the same rescue organization where Charlie came from. We now have 5 dogs ranging in age from 8 weeks to our old boy, Tanner, who is almost 13 years old. Some people think we are crazy having more than one dog. After all, they are just dogs. And they are quite a lot of work with caring for them and training them. With 5 dogs, it makes it difficult to be away from home for long periods of time. And rarely can you take more than 2 with you if you decide to bring them somewhere with you. And right now as I listen to her crying and whining to get out of her kennel at bedtime,there is a part of me that agrees. Puppies are a lot of work, along with their cute and snugly side. She is a loud little pup when she is stuck where she doesn't want to be. But most of the time she has been very quick to please and outgoing.

About a week before I got the pup, I decided to post her picture on Face Book and let friends and family help come up with a name for her. This has been amusingly interesting as friends and family have voiced their opinions and thoughts on what she should be named. There were family names, names I couldn't pronounce much less figure out how to yell it out in a hurry to get the pup's attention and names I am not allowed to use according to my children. They have a stockpile of names that may one day be called up to use for a future grandchild. It has been a few days since the little pup came into our lives and she is now in need of a name. I have held off naming her right away as I wanted to get to know her personality and to see just who she was before sticking a name on her that I would have to use on her the rest of her life.

This week as I have been reading through names and trying to decide on one, then deciding and changing my mind again, I am drawn to the words I hear from my own Master: "Before you were born, I knew you, I even knew the count of hairs on your head. I have called you by name."

How awesome to have such a close relationship with my Master that I was known and welcomed before I was even formed, before anyone else knew my name. Allow me to walk in the ways of my Master in a close and personal relationship.

Everyone, Meet Rainey

The Effort and The Outcome

I decided a few weeks ago to take this day off from work today. This was the day that I had scheduled Charlie to take the Therapy Dog test. I planned to keep everything low-key so as to keep Charlie's energy level at a nice quiet range.It has been a day that has been not as I had anticipated it should be. I had taken the day off to refresh and prepare Charlie for the test. But the day started out a little different than I had imagined.

I had planned on waking up leisurely this morning, maybe stay in bed and listen to the news, read a little from a book I started and you know... just lounge somewhat before starting the day. But that was not to be. I woke up to an early phone call  at 6:35. Just one of those "good morning" ones from the spouse. The one that translated says, "I've been awake and at work for an hour, so you should be up also".

So up and at it at 7:00 am, I let the dogs out and began to get ready to face the day. From a distance I heard water running in the front of the house. When I went to check it, I found that ,once again, Charlie had turned on the faucet and water was running at a steady force all over the front yard. Not sure when he decided to fill up his water bucket by himself, but from  the looks of it, it must have been awhile. Sometimes I feel like I am so outsmarted by the Aussie.

I brought the other dogs in and when I called for Charlie, in he bounded, covered in mud. Not only was he covered in mud, but he had a not so aromatic scent about him. I am still uncertain where or what he rolled in, but he was as happy as a....let's say... smelly pig in mud.

Determining that I could not dry him and get the mud completely off, let alone the stench, I was left with having to give Charlie a bath. Time was ticking by and Charlie's fur is thick and long enough to know that it would not be dried out by test time which was 3 hours away. But into the tub he hopped and the process of bathing a furry 65 lb dog began. He thoroughly enjoyed the bath, but insisted on giving his body a shake every chance he could. Needless to say, I was completely saturated along with wet precariously smelling Charlie. He was quite impressed with the hair dryer that kept blowing warm air at him and his energy picked up.
Two hours had passed and Charlie was clean, somewhat sweet smelling and had fluffy fur sticking out. The Australian Shepherd version of an Afro.

I had planned on taking Charlie for a long quiet walk at the walking trail just before we left for the test, so as to refresh Charlie on a few things, such as don't pull on the lead and please, please no sniffing where you shouldn't. But alas, we needed to be in the car heading in the direction of the test. So I hustled Charlie to back by the field and told him to hurry up and "do it", meaning go to the bathroom so it doesn't happen, God forbid inside during the test. He complied and I got him loaded into the Jeep.

Memorial holiday, everyone getting off work, construction and the fact that I should have left earlier began to allow anxiety to creep in and I found myself feeling rushed, annoyed at the drivers ahead of me and nothing I could do to speed up the drive to the test. We got there with 5 minutes to spare.

We walked in, or should I say, Charlie bolted in pulling me behind him. Definitely an entrance that is not one that will convince people that you are with a passable Therapy Dog. In fact, some people with there beautiful dogs and designer leashes actually turned away from us and pulled their dogs closer to themselves, looking appalled.

I attempted to fill out the paper work, while all the while, Charlie was bound and determined to sniff at every dog within 6 1/2 feet of him (I had a 6 foot lead). Needless to say, my forms are less than desirable in the legibility department. I stood there handing over the check, wondering how much of a fool we would be making of ourselves


As soon as I finished the paperwork, it was our turn to be called out to the center of the ring where everyone now began watching with anticipation to see how foolish we would look. The tester explained what she expected and would call out each instruction. Charlie looked directly at me and it was then that I saw him switch into work mode. The lights were on and he was home. He completed each skill with such mastery that I only had to let him do the work and go through the paces. One of the final skills was to have 5 children run closely by him, screaming and jumping. This was the skill that would later cause several dogs to not pass, especially the herding dogs. Charlie sat there without a flinch as the kids went by him. Just another day for him as this is the constant motion of the household with the grand kids always running by.

Charlie performed without distraction, or unnecessary use of the leash by his frazzled handler (me). He passed not only the therapy dog test, but also the canine good citizen test. He is officially a therapy dog....in spite of all my plans to not cause stress to him or me today before the test. His being able to complete the task and skills is not a result of a one day refresher course that I had planned to throw in right before the test. Rather, it is the result of many hours of being together and learning who I am and what I am expecting of him. It has been a long-standing communication between us, both verbal and non-verbal.

Today let me be reminded that I need to spend consistent and plentiful time with my Master in order to know what is being asked of me. Let me hear audibly and  be still to quietly feel my Master's presence beside me.

                                                       Charlie the Therapy Dog

This Moment

I have been reminded lately by my dog,Charlie, about taking the time to live in the moment. Charlie and I spend an evening every week at dog (personally I think it is people) training class. For the past several months Charlie and I have gone to "school" to learn how to work as one unit in whatever we do together. In a few days, our togetherness is going to be put to the test as I have signed us up to take the Therapy Dog test.

This test consists of 10 different phases that the handler and dog are put through to prove them trustworthy to be in situations with vulnerable children or adults in various places, such as schools, nursing homes, prisons etc. Some of the things that will be required of us is to have Charlie walk beside me without pulling, be able to allow another person to groom him, be able to wait patiently with a stranger while I leave the room for 3-5 minutes. And finally the true test of Charlie's attention to me, his handler... being able to walk a circle around a bowl of fresh cooked chicken without paying the cooked chicken any attention.

As the test grows closer, I have found myself not too worried about whether we will pass or not. You see, Charlie lives in the moment. He knows the words and when they are spoken, he knows what he is supposed to do and most of the time he does just as he is told. He has made listening to me his job. He doesn't fret or worry about how well he is listening. He just takes my lead and whatever I am conveying to him down the leash and through my tone and body language, he will pick up and comply. So if I want him to succeed, I am the one who will need to work "in the moment". If I look behind at the times in the past that we weren't the well oiled, lean, mean dog training machine we could have been, I will surely fail with Charlie. If I look out into the future of "what ifs", I will not be able enjoy the moment with Charlie during the test. Right now, right here....that is the moment I choose to live in.

As I go through my day, let me see what is right before my eyes. Allow me to see the beauty of each and every moment. Keep my focus on the here and now, without looking too far ahead or too far behind. Let me live in life's moment.

The Hay Wagon

Most days when it is nice out, I take the dogs out to the back field for a free run. It is a time when they can take off chasing each other, snoop around at all the new gopher holes or just walk out to the open field together as a pack.

About halfway out in the field is a hay wagon that has been parked alongside the property line for the past several years. It is a rather large wagon and is about 3 feet high off the ground. It is a perfect "perch" to sit and watch as the dogs romp around. A wonderful quiet spot for time away.

Each time we go out to the field, Charlie and Makwa will run on ahead sniffing and chasing one another, while Tanner and Belle will stay a little closer to me. Tanner is no longer able to keep up as he could in his younger days and does everything in his power to maintain a slow and steady pace. Belle enjoys the security of being close to her human and will not veer too far from her focal point. All four dogs are at various places in the field as we trek out there together.

It always amazes me that when Charlie and Makwa arrive at the hay wagon, they will stop running and hop up on the wagon and sit together side by side. There they will wait (rather patiently, I must add) for the rest of the pack to catch up. When we catch up to them, the two of them will be waiting for me to give them a round of scruffing and praise for how good they were to wait for us. Then it is off to the back field like two canines hot on a trail of who knows what. On our way in from the field, they will stop by the wagon once again.

I am grateful for the reminders I receive from Charlie and Makwa. As I charge through my day, I need to stop at the hay wagon and regroup, waiting for my Master to come alongside me and give me direction and guidance on the journey into the big field.

Come to Me

I have been working with Charlie the past few weeks on looking at me when he is called and then going in the direction I signal to him. A few weeks ago, I had all but given up on my A.D.D. dog. I usually take him for a long walk up the dirt road on a leash, heeling at my side. We have been training consistently together on different aspects of the human-dog relationship.

Things have been going very well. Charlie has heeled on a leash, sits, downs, stays and does all the things he is supposed to do as an obedient dog. Except for that one very important thing.....looking at me when called and coming to me when asked. I think Spring probably got the best of him a few weeks ago and,without fail, when let off the leash Charlie would walk perfect for 30 seconds and then take off like a speeding bullet into the woods. Calling him, no actually yelling for him to come, was pointless. He was hot on a trail of whatever scent he got wind of in the woods. About 20 minutes after his take off, Charlie would return, tongue hanging out the side of his mouth, trotting home, fully focused on me. Needless to say, this was not the way I wanted to end our evening walks. So I got to thinking......I need to get this dog's attention before he winds up hurt by a car (or me because he was getting me riled by not listening).

So off I went to the store, I got an electronic collar that will cover 1/2 mile of space between me and Charlie. Let me explain what an e-collar does. It assists in training a dog by giving either a vibration or a small shock to the dog's neck to get their attention. It is not used as a punishment, but rather an extension of the trainer. When used properly, the e-collar will get the dog's attention and cause the dog to focus on what is being asked of him. Charlie already understands the use of e-collars as he lives in a yard that uses underground dog fencing. If too close to the boundary a beep sounds and then a slight shock is given if he keeps going and challenges to cross over the boundary.

It took all of about 5 minutes to get Charlie to understand that when called (along with a vibration) he needs to stop, look at me and then come when called. Each day we go to the 300 acre fields around us and practice. Charlie is allowed to run as much as he would like, but when I call out his name he stops and looks at me for direction. I no longer need to use the e-collar, he just understands to put his focus on me. Good job, Charlie.

Help me to remember to focus on my Master when my name is called, even when I have strayed a great distance. Allow me to daily look for direction from my Creator and do what is being asked.In other words, let me respond willingly before the shock is needed.

Things Will Grow If You Give It Time

A few days ago, it was finally a Spring day instead of blustery winter winds and snow showers.There was actually a hint of warmth in the air and the smell of the field nearby having just been turned over and smoothed out with a disk making it ready to be planted with corn or soybeans. It was just too good to be true...a time to get into the garden and start tilling and planting. I enjoy planting time more than any other phase in gardening. I am not sure why, as it is backbreaking and tedious to take massive amounts of dirt and turn it over with a shovel, rake it smooth and then crouch down and put miniscule seeds into the ground. And all the while wondering if it really truly is going to stay warm and not freeze everything out.

As I stood by the kitchen counter cutting up fruit for Lidiya, my 5 year old grand-daughter, I decided that just maybe this could be that one thing that we could do together to make some memories and spend some 1 on 1 time together. Having 11 grand-kids this is an enormous challenge to try and find special time with each one. I remember time with my grandma and how special I always felt when she gave me her undivided attention. I want to give each of my grand-kids that gift of being special. Lidiya went and got her nice clean tennis shoes on and met me out in the garden ready to "make vegetables".

We spent much time breaking up the soil and smoothing it. Each time we got it smoothed and ready to plant, Lidiya managed to walk through it to pick something up and it was compacted once again. After the 4th or 5th time, she finally remembered to only walk where grandma's feet go. Next it was on to poking holes in the ground and dropping the seeds in the ground. Watching Lidiya with all the intensity and concentration she could produce was amazing. One by one her little hands took each small seed and gently placed it in the tiny hole she had made to accept it. Then ever so carefully she would cover it and tell the seed to "grow tall" just like grandma had shown her. I can only hope those seeds take Lidiya's advice and grow tall for her to see the fruits of her labor and the special time we shared together that day.

As I go through my day, remind me to take the time to carefully and lovingly sow the seeds I have been given. Let me pass on special memories to my children and grandchildren. Allow me to remember to walk in my Creator's footsteps so as not to trample down the soil where growth takes root. Today let me discover time to be 1 on 1 with the Master Gardener.

Mitakuye Oyasin (Lakota: We are All Related)

Yesterday was the first Saturday in May. This may not be a big deal to many, but in my family of origin, it is a day of remembering and honoring those in our family who have gone before us. It is a time when many of my family will make a trek North to the family cemetery up near the small town of Grey Eagle, Minnesota.

This is a tradition that has been passed on through the generations and hopefully will continue with my children and their children's children long after I am gone. The task consists of raking the cemetery grounds of at least a ton of downed pine needles from the massive white pines that stand reaching skyward. Each family takes an area near the family plots and rakes, gathers downed branches and hauls it all to the enormous pile at the other side of the property. It starts early in the morning and usually is completed by about noon, at which time there is a barbecue with many different foods that each one brings to share.

For as long as I can remember, cemetery clean-up day has been around. We have tried to pinpoint the exact number of years this has been going on and the best guess is....well....forever. Or at least 80+ years that my ancestors have taken the first Saturday in May to come to Bear Head Union Cemetery and clean. Since I was a baby, I have been brought to Bear Head to be with my relatives, both above and beneath the ground. Often times, I can rememebr standing by a gravesite and listening while one of my older relatives would tell a story about that family member. Since I have had my own children, we have made the journey back to Bear Head. And in the past few years, my children have begun to bring their children, with rakes in hand.

As the years have gone by, the number of relatives buried there have increased. There are great-grandparents, grandparents, uncles, aunts and even one more generation buried at the old homestead on the hill nearby.  With all of the generations there, both above and beneath the ground there were 7 generations intertwined at the cemetery yesterday. The impact the ones who have gone before me have had and the impact the little ones standing beside me have had in my life is beyond what I can comprehend. I stood there looking out at the tombstones of my relatives, while holding the hand of a grandchild and became aware of the blessings that are passed on to each of us through the generations. Mitakuye Oyasin: we are all related.

As I go through my life, let me always be aware of the blessings that have been passed on to me from those that came before me. And allow me to pass those blessings on to those who will come after me. May I have the wisdom and guidance to rake away those things that will not be a blessing to those who will follow.

Little Dog

Belle is a mixture of a poodle and a Shitzu. She came to us when she was about 8 weeks old, weighing in at about 1 1/2 pounds. She has grown to be a whopping 11 pounds now and is about 6 years old. As little as Belle is, she is one tough dog. Belle has managed to maintain her position as Alpha dog amongst the 3 much larger dogs in our pack. With just a look and an assertive stance she can bring the Newfoundland, Makwa, to the ground and on her back...the ultimate submission position for a dog. Never is she mean or snappy when doing this to the bigger dogs. She just lets the other dogs know that she is their leader, and it doesn't matter that the other 3 dogs are 10 times her size.

When Belle is around her human pack, such as the grand-kids who range in age from 1 to 7, she no longer is the pack leader. She becomes the submissive one. She allows the kids to dress her up, carry her around, and yes even take her favorite chew stick out of her mouth. She understands her place in the pack, a leader to some and a follower to others. She understands that in order to be balanced in her life she needs to be able to do both depending on the situation.

As I go through  my day, let me understand submitting my life to my Pack Leader. Let me be able to get along with those around me; allow me to know when to lead and when to follow. Create in me the balance I need to make it through the day.

What Lurks Beneath the Outer Coat

When I got home from work today I decided it was time to brush Makwa, the Newfoundland. It is just one of the joys of owning a furry, fluffy, really big dog. At least once a week a Newf needs major grooming/ brushing in order to keep the hair from matting.

It takes some preparation to brush Makwa. I first need to locate the 3 brushes she needs to get the undercoat and then the top. And then there is the Walmart bags to put the fur in. Her fur can easily fill 2 Walmart plastic bags. So this evening, as long as I was going to be home alone, I decided was the perfect night to get Makwa brushed.

As I began to brush Makwa she stood towering above me as I sat on the floor. I thought to myself that it was going to be easy and not take too long to brush her since I just did it a few days ago. I was wrong in that assumption. I started with the "rake" tool and began to get all of the loose undercoat off of her. As I brushed her, sand and grit from lying in the driveway fell to the family room floor,making a huge mess (still Winter here in Minnesota we had rain with snow today, too cold for outdoors). Next came the bristle brush to smooth down the fluffiness. Along with that, came another bag of hair to go with my growing pile of sand and grit.

As I was finishing up, I finally realized how stinky she had become from lying outside in the mud and hanging around the barn when I did the chores earlier today. Evidently she had done one of her famous "run, slide and roll" maneuvers ...right into some droppings the chickens had left behind. It was apparent that no matter how much I brushed her outer coat, the stench would linger beneath and she would never be quite clean enough.

So much to Makwa's delight, she was asked to jump into the bathtub, her second most favorite thing (lifting the garbage lid and stealing food is her very favorite). In she went. A bottle of shampoo and a giant ring around the tub later, she was groomed, furry and smelled like perfumed pesticide flea and tick shampoo. A much better, new look for Makwa. Amazing how her energy level changed once she was clean. She trotted all over the house leaving a trail of paw prints and puddles. Sand, grit and chicken droppings were out from beneath her coat and all that remained was a shiny, sweet-smelling Newf dancing around leaving a wet floor where ever she went.

Today when I am hanging around in the mud and doing the "run, slide and roll" maneuver into life's droppings; when I feel the dirt, sand and grit deep beneath the undercoat of who I am, remind me that my Master is always waiting nearby to call me into the fresh clean water, to wash away all that leaves me matted up and stinky.

Everybody was Kung-Fu Fighting

Today instead of the usual routine of getting up and going to my normal job, I had to attend a mandatory class on personal safety. Because of the job I do, I sometimes go to a person's home to provide patient care. In the past 12 years, I have not run into anything that was too scary...unless you would consider attack turkeys chasing you to your car dangerous. Luckily for me, the turkeys lost interest when they found cracker crumbs on the ground.

I woke up this morning already grumbling to myself that this meeting was not what I wanted to be doing for the next 3 hours. I had the preconceived notion that for 3 hours I would be sitting and listening to some corporate person drone on about how to stay safe out in the homecare environment. A place where few corporate people have dared to travel.

When I got there, I found a back seat, in hopes I could put my iPod in book mode and catch up on some reading while pretending to engage in the class. Sitting in the back of the class, I had hopes that I would be left alone and wouldn't have anyone sitting next to me so I could read. But the class did fill up and there was only one seat left...next to me. In walked the man that would be my partner in personal safety for the morning. He was over a foot taller than me, and had the forearms of the old cartoon character, Pop-Eye the Sailor Man. We greeted each other just as class began and the instructor told everyone to put cell phones and pagers on silent and ,yes, ditch the iPods.

The instructors were two nurses who had put together more of a sit-com than a training. Laverne and Shirley had nothing on them.They tag-teamed the instruction and made the time go a little quicker than the usual 3 hour meeting. And by mid-morning, it was time to put into action personal safety. It was a demonstration of how to get out of unsafe situations that may arise in the healthcare profession. They were the usual situations a nurse can face, like a choke hold, having your hair grabbed from the front and then the back, and the infamous two-hand grab. A piece of cake....except for the fact that I had the young 7 foot high Pop-Eye coming at 5 foot middle-aged me. I managed to get out of all the holds he threw at me. Having grown up with two older brothers and raising four kids into adulthood, I had many "moves" to draw from in keeping Pop-Eye at bay. All in all, the morning turned out to be.....well... fun.... compared to my preconceived thoughts upon rising this morning.

Each morning upon rising, let me put aside my thoughts on how I am expecting the day to go. Let me look past how much I need to get done, or how I can avoid what the day is bringing to me. Let me learn to be grateful that I have awakened to greet another day. Allow me to wake up and look to my Creator to put me in the right frame of mind before my feet even hit the floor. Let me awaken and look for those Kung-Fu moments that will bring a smile to my face.

High Noon

Today I was summoned by the two 5 year old grand-kids that, "Mama needs you to come help her". I started to go down to the lower level apartment where the kids are currently living, but was redirected by the 5 year old's that I was to go outside to the backyard.

Upon arriving in the backyard, I found my daughter and 7 year old grandson in a battle of wills. He had hit his sister a few times too many to be an accident and mama had had enough. It resembled an Old West movie where it is high noon and the two gunfighters are squared off waiting for someone to draw their gun first as the townsfolk watch from a distance. In this case, it was me and the other grand-kids that were the townsfolk. I escorted them into the house so as not to be in harm's way when the shooting began.

The 2 desperadoes then began their showdown. Mama standing her ground and 7 year old grandson looking defiantly with the "if looks could kill" stare down. Several minutes passed with grandson pushing away as mama tried to gather him and quiet him in her arms. It looked like it was going to be an impasse. But then after a few more attempts to get grandson to apologize for smacking his sister (and by this time also his mama), he did just that. But not quite so much with a repentant heart, so the plot thickened and it continued to be a standoff for a few more minutes until the words were spoken with a sorry and apologetic heart. All was forgiven and life moved on to a walk in the  field with grandson and mama walking side by side talking quietly to each other.

Today when I feel like throwing punches in the air because things are not going my way and it is High Noon in my life, help me remember that I have a loving Creator with open arms waiting for me to just approach with an open and repentant heart. 

Ice Out

It has been a long winter. The snow started in October and has continued now into mid-April. We have had a few warm days that have managed to thaw the lakes. And joy of joys, it is ice out here in East Central Minnesota! It is a day that many look forward to and some even place bets on what date it will happen.

During the winter I watched as the lakes became thick with ice. That thickness turned the lakes into roadways for ATV's, snowmobiles and trucks to negotiate a path to an ice house or a favorite fishing spot. Over time the lakes became dotted with ice houses, vehicles and left over trash from some of the more irresponsible ones that would come out to fish or party in their ice house and leave behind their garbage.

While all of this activity prevails above the lake, beneath it, is business as usual. The only way that anyone would know there is life beneath the thick ice would be to drill a hole through the few feet of ice to have a peak beneath where you are standing. To do this with an auger that is not powered is a very slow process. But once a hole is made, it is incredible to see the life that is beneath the cold frozen barrier of the ice.

Today I drove by one of the many lakes in the area that is now open water. I could see the white caps as the winds ripped across from one end of shoreline to another. And I began to see the many items that have washed up on shore from the winter. In time, volunteers and the DNR will gather all of the garbage and haul it away.

Once the ice is completely out and the sunshine warms the water, I will launch my kayak and take to paddling. On a calm day, what a vantage point I will have sitting so close to the water in the kayak. I will be privy to look deep within the pristine water and see the new signs of Spring; tadpoles, sunfish and maybe even a walleye.

Today I ask my Creator to give my heart and life ice out. Let the melting take place. Let the wind wash all the junk to shore and be hauled away. Let the calm stillness, sunshine and warmth give me that vantage point to see through the thick ice build-up to the new life within. Give me the pristine calmness to paddle on.

Big Dog

Makwa is my 5 year old Newfoundland. I have had her since she was a pup of 25 pounds. Today she weighs about 110 pounds and when standing on her hind legs will drape her paws over my shoulders and look down at me. She resembles a bear from a distance and has been mistaken for one on occasion. I am always grateful that my bear is a gentle giant. 

Every morning when I wake up, I go to the garage door to "release the beasts" to the outdoors after a long night. Dogs generally are creatures of habit and will continue to perform a routine even if the consequences are less than desirable. For Makwa, this happens to be every morning when I go to let her outside.

Makwa is what I consider a well behaved large dog. She doesn't jump on people, she doesn't pull on her leash when out for a walk, she gets out of people's way when they are walking. And she never will snatch a treat from your hand no matter how sure she is that Charlie is going to get it first. But Makwa has one bad habit. She loves to lift the lid of the garbage can to see if there is some tidbit or morsel she can grab for take out on her way to the yard. Without fail she will do this every morning. And every morning I will, as always, scold her for doing it. She will tuck her tail between her legs, grab the closest hunk of tossed leftover and head outside. Just once I would love to see her go straight to the door and go outside. But I am thinking even for Makwa the instant pleasure of a possible morsel of human food outweighs the scolding and knowing she is doing wrong.

How often do I do just what Makwa does? Continue to do the same thing over and over, knowing it is not the best thing to do and yet hoping I will somehow get the little morsel of pleasure and gratification. How often do I "sneak into the trash"? Today let my actions reflect what is good and right in the eyes of my Creator. Let me choose to go to the door and not sidetrack to the trash.

My Mother's Daughter

Today is my mom's birthday. Had she lived, she would be 91 years old today. But as fate would have it, my mom died 29 years ago when she was 60 years old. At the time, I was 23 and going to be a new mom in a few months.

The night before my mom died, she put her hand on my stomach as my baby kicked and squirmed and she said, "It's a girl". That night after I left the hospital, my mom passed away. A few months later, I gave birth to a beautiful daughter. And as the years went by, I had 3 more incredible and beautiful children, 2 sons and another daughter.

Although my mom was never around to watch the kids grow up and accomplish the milestones, or have direct input into their lives, I have to believe she has had a steady influence in their lives. It is because I am my mother's daughter. There are many things I do that are a direct result of being raised by a woman who loved me unconditionally whether I was a good and obedient child or a rebellious teenager. Through all of my growing pains, my mom was there, to love me, discipline me, and watch me take those "first steps" in life's journey. And although she was not physically present during my transformation into adulthood and parenthood, she is a direct result of the woman I have become. And she has left an impact on how I have loved and raised my own children. And it is now being passed on to the next generation

Today, as I remember my mom's life, let me look to my Creator as The One that continues to love me as a mom or dad loves their child. Allow me to remember that I am loved unconditionally whether I am being the good and obedient child or I am being the rebellious teenager.

Young Pup

Along with Tanner, my old Hospice dog, I have a young dog, Charlie. He is an Australian Shepherd/Blue Heeler mix. He just turned one last month. He has been described as “wicked smart” as he seems to be able to sense what I am asking of him, long before I even know myself what it is I want. He stays close to me and constantly checks in with me to see if I could use his help with herding grandchildren, or letting me know when company is coming.

In the evening, after the grand-kids have been around, Charlie will go through the house and gather (or in his world-herd) all the toys that were left around after they picked up. One by one he will diligently bring them to me until all toys are gathered. Then he will sit in front of me looking for more “work”. Charlie has a servant’s heart and would do just about anything to help his “Master”. He would go the distance just to please me. Charlie asks for nothing in return….. 

How often do I work with a servant’s heart to do something for another just for the sake of helping? Or do I do it hoping someone sees it so they can say “good job” or notice me in some other way? Today let me be like my dog, Charlie, and do something for someone without looking for praise from others. Let me look into my Master’s eyes and see what work needs to be done.

Old Dog

I have an old yellow Lab that has been in my life since he was 7 weeks old. He is now 12 years old and in the sunset of his life. Each day I am amazed when I see Tanner lift his head, thump his tail, and struggle to stand up to go outside. Every morning, I find myself preparing for him to be unable to rise, or worse yet, dead, when I come down the hallway to get him.

Tanner is going deaf (now for real, not just selectively), has a body full of tumors bulging out all over him and his legs are arthritic and wobbly. Nonetheless, the old dog manages to greet each morning with all the zest and zeal he can muster up in his condition. He is always a happy dog.

Tanner, like all dogs, lives in the moment, neither looking back to his younger days running in the fields nor looking out into the future of his final days. He greets each and every day ready to live in the moment. His thumping, wagging tail shows his enthusiasm as he greets each day.

Tanner's days are now numbered and I struggle when I look into his big brown eyes and imagine life without him tagging alongside me. May I learn to view my days in the moment, neither looking behind or too far ahead. May I learn from Tanner to enjoy each and every moment that I encounter.

Somewhere in the Middle......

There is a song by the group, Casting Crowns, called Somewhere in the Middle. When I listen to the lyrics, I find my self drawn to the verse that says:

Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

So goes the journey of this middle-aged woman that is somewhere between hot flashes and cold shivers, somewhere between having raised her children and not totally wanting to let go. Of looking back on all that has been and looking ahead to all that is yet to come. Somewhere in the middle, you'll find me in the midst of this thing called life. I wake up grateful each day knowing I do not have to go it alone.